So I'm reading this new book by Martha Beck.
It's a self help book really, and I just want to say to all the people in my life: I'm sorry.
I read self-help or spiritual books from time to time, and whenever I do I get all super annoying. Seriously I'm unbearable. I mean, I feel really good inside so I just keep doing it, devouring Martha Beck and Sue Monk Kidd and Pema Chodron and once I even read The Secret. But then I start saying things to Noah like, "Do whatever makes you feel most liberated!". Or I tell my family, you know, the fact that you have that giant oozing growth on your foot isn't really the problem. The problem is that you THINK it's a problem.
The book isn't about housekeeping really, at all. I mean not even I am lame enough to read books about combining your true self with your lemon Pledge. But towards the end Martha Beck says that you should mentally walk through your living space and note any area of it that you don't like, that makes you uncomfortable.
So I'm like, ha! That's my ENTIRE HOUSE. Gotcha. What now, Martha Beck?
But she was prepared (damn you Martha Beck, you sly lynx). She knew I would say that so she told me to think about the place that makes me feel the most icky. And I thought: the bedroom.
If you are hearing flashing red sirens now, well, so was I.
If there is one thing you need your bedroom to feel after 8 years of marriage, I don't know what that is but I'm sure it isn't 'icky'.
So then Martha Beck told me to visualize getting a million dollar check in the mail that I could use to redecorate--
Just kidding mom.
She said to put one thing I love in my bedroom and take out one thing I hate. So I'm working on that.
Now all I need to do is figure out 1)How to get Nathan Fillion into my bedroom and 2) does anyone know how to wash brain matter out of sateen sheets? What is a spin cycle? I don't get it.
No seriously though. Do you?
I am Vesuvius and one day I will have the better of that insufferable Martha Beck.
Just kidding, Martha Beck.