We didn't get a very nice fall here. At first it was hot. Then it was suddenly very cold. All the leaves froze and turned dirty brown. There are a few red trees to be found, but they are far between. It snowed yesterday, a soupy wet snow that wasn't pretty or cozy. All the leaves lie mushy and brown in our yard. It froze the day of the pumpkin festival, and they canceled the fun. By the next weekend we were too tired and too broke to make it out there.
Mentally I am reaching forward, into the future, looking for brighter spots to hold on to. Already planning Thanksgiving delights in my head. Catching myself humming Christmas songs over dirty dishes. I was talking to God the Mother the other day (wonders of the internet). She asked what we were going to shed this season, as the trees shed their leaves. She asked what we would reveal in the coming darkness.
I thought they were good questions.
One Sunday, I woke up in a black mood. I took a shower and was feeling so entirely void of any goodness that I went and lay back down. A while later, I woke up. The house was quiet. Outside, one of the only brilliant and beautiful days of fall was happening. It would happen whether I was present to see it or not. I texted Noah to see where he was. He texted back. They were at the horsey park. Did I want him to come get me?
I didn't realize, until now, how valuable this is. To have someone that will leave you in the dark, accepting that is where you are, and then, at the right time, ask you if you're ready to come out of it.
To have the courage to say yes.
I have been feeling the need to shed as well. I love when there is a collective emotion among people without even knowing it!ReplyDelete
I wish I could shed all the people who want me to read Twilight, but that is another story...
I love your pictures. I hope things are going well. Your blogs always feel like a deep breath of fresh air!
Thanks Dalley. I guess we can only hope the world will shed Twilight altogether, in its time. Maybe we will see a slew of Twilight backlash literature with strong women and non-abusive men. Wouldn't that be nice? Perhaps it is already starting, with 'Graceling' and "The Hunger Games".ReplyDelete
Anyway. I wish you well with your sloughing off. Doesn't that sound funny.
Dirty things sound funny. It's what makes the world go 'round. Speaking of the world going round and possibly spinning off its axis-Mr. G and I had a lovely conversation on God deserving to be known as Mother as much as Father. My heart soared. thought you would enjoy.ReplyDelete
Awesome. Sue Monk Kidd would approve.ReplyDelete
These are all wonderful pictures. You have a wonderful family. And how did I miss this post? I just saw it today...ReplyDelete
Brittany lives the life she has with the love of her husband and children--not in any phony fantasy. She knows who she is, and where she is,and doesn't need any other phony recogition. I can applaud her for that. She is strong...always has been...and I am confident that she will survive those down days because she is aware that those "up" days will be there as soon as those two little ones wake up to share with them. I know well the strain of motherhood, and I also know that it doesn't last forever...so just keep the faith...there will be a time when you wish it would all come back again--but then it will be too late! You have a talent that you should continue to pursue although it may take time..but your day will come. Keep writing your novels. So enjoy one day at a time, life is so short. Your day will come, I promise. Love, GrammaReplyDelete
Thanks Grandma! I am still working hard. Thanks for the kind words.ReplyDelete