Sunday, January 4, 2015

It Has Always Been Raining

Yesterday we had big plans but they didn't pan out because we had to take the car in to the shop an you know exactly how all that goes. This time, they gave the car back to us in worse condition than it was in when we entrusted it to their care (Charlie's Tire in Brevard is the place to avoid) and so tomorrow we'll be dealing with the car again and may I add a few hundred dollars shorter.

We did have an awfully fun time eating ribs and playing Cards Against Humanity with some friends, and we did all this late into the evening like Europeans, not like the tired parents we all are. So it wasn't a total wash, even though it has been raining for as long as I can remember and the ground is soggy like food you'd spoon-feed to an invalid.

Tomorrow the girls have to go back to school and I feel like crying for them. They've spent the last two weeks blissed out, playing with new Christmas toys and art supplies, obeying the natural rhythms of their bodies, doing what they want when they want it. Mostly doing it in the house because of the whole Eternity of Rain thing, but still, it's been nice.

And I don't want them to go back because I will have to figure out what to do with myself in their absence. This used to be an easy task, but now it isn't.

I'm reading "Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar" by Dear Sugar who is in fact Cheryl Strayed. It is a gorgeous and wondrous book and the book I needed in my life, right now, this very moment. It's made me cry over and over again in the good way. And it turns out that the quote on the mug above is from Tiny Beautiful Things, from an essay Strayed wrote for a writer who was lost along her way.

I certainly can't write like a motherfucker right now but there's a time for everything.

So there is is, Brittany. This moment in your life. This day beneath the gray-washed sky.


  1. It is very gray and rainy here today too and has been gray for days. At least it's warm although I hear that's about to change.
    Ah yes.
    I thought I was in a cheerful mood today until I read Angella's blog whereupon I started crying and then I realized that I actually WAS in a cheerful mood but that doesn't mean I can't get sad in the middle of it and cry. Does that make sense?
    I'm sorry your girls have to go back to school. I'm sorry your car is messed up.
    I hope we can all write like motherfuckers this year.

  2. I just let out a big contented sigh that I get to read your writing again. I love your writing so much, no matter the subject. I have a suggestion about the school thing -- but slap me if you think I'm nuts or presumptuous. Homeschool those girls. I wish that I'd done it sooner with Oliver. If this sounds at all possible, just do it. If it sounds impossible, read this little book first and see what you think: Deschooling Gently by Tammy Takahashi.

  3. PS: love the skull photo bomb. :-)

  4. I have that book! Something made me get it yet I have not yet opened it. Reading this, I think I will open it today. I know every single thing you describe in this post, the kids going back to school leaving you bereft, for yourself and for them, especially. You will start writing again soon. it will happen, I promise. We need your voice. There is no other like it. But in the meantime read and be gentle with yourself. No guilt. No shoulds. You are so loved.

  5. I'm so writer's blocked I can't even write a proper comment. I'm just glad to read your words here.

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